So, my almost 5 month old son has achieved some milestones in his life in the last few days, one of which is that he’s able to roll from his back to his tummy unassisted.
Secondly, he is able to enjoy a sumptuous serving of fresh toes. I really don’t understand what goes through their minds when this happens.
I haven’t really talked about my experience of being a first time father, I guess now’s a better time than any other.
Life as I know It Has Ended
I think this is one of the biggest myths of becoming a parent. Sure, there’s quite a fair bit of stuff that you previously enjoyed that you most probably cannot do (or do much less), such as having a bromantic evening with your mates, jamming with your band in a dingy studio at midnight, or making an impromptu trip at night to the casino in Genting Highlands.
In return, you get to spend time at home having to entertain your baby while your wife finishes up her dinner, followed by you consuming your cold soggy meal after that. There’s also a high chance for you to sleep late because your baby doesn’t want to sleep, and putting him/her to sleep took 1 to 2 hours. Only for the baby to get up again at 3am just to wake you up.
Sounding all doom and gloom so far? Trust me, there’s more.
Instead, let’s have a slightly different perspective. What if I say that you get to play and make your child laugh uncontrollably, and that makes you laugh uncontrollably as well. Or that the last face your baby sees before they sleep is your face.
How about me time? Believe it or not, with a bit of time management, I’m still able to watch some TV shows, read some comics in a week, and even put in some Xbox time at night.
Yes, you might have lost your previous life, but you’ll get to have a new one – Both yours and your baby’s.
It’s So Difficult
Oh yes it’s tough. My first few experiences changing Jamie’s diaper was calamitous. There was rarely a clean diaper changing experience.
Not having enough sleep also ranks as one of the toughest part of parenthood. And for someone like me who’s pretty petty about punctuality and order in life, parenthood can really throw everything off course for the day.
At the same time, it’s such a fun experience. Every experience I’ve had with my son has been golden. I look back at a particular bath session where Jamie decided to pee ONLY when I took off his diaper, all while I was carrying him. And it was friggin’ hilarious. We laughed then, and today we still laugh.
Some people might think that I’m taking parenthood too lightly, but trust me when I say that having a positive attitude will definitely make even the most mundane and trying challenges a fun experience.
Let’s Have Better Finances Before Considering Having Children
Myth, myth, myth.
It can be terribly draining on your bank account, if you decide to get the “best” of everything for your kid. You know what? Children have grown up strong and healthy on much less.
With so many resources out there, second-hand options for cots, strollers and other baby equipment are aplenty. Can’t afford Mamypoko all the time? Then switch between a cheaper option during the day and possibly save almost RM0.50 per diaper.
Basically, money spent can be earned. It can be expensive, but with a little planning and resourcefulness, this can be overcome easily.
I’ve always tried to be as involved as possible in my marriage – From doing the chores, to cooking the meals. Admittedly, I’ve never thought of myself as great in all these things, but I try my best.
Same thing with my son – I’ve tried to be as involved as much as I can, from diaper changing, to bottle feeding, bathing, and even his laundry.
And, it’s really not that bad. Just find a process that works for you, and take some burden off your wife. It really does keep everyone in the house sane when the duties are shared.
The way I see it, the one and only negative point of parenting is how tiring it can be for all parties, that’s undeniable. Everything else that comes along with it is definitely a plus point, in my opinion.
This comic perfectly captures what I’ve been trying to say in this whole post, courtesy of Fowl Language Comics. Maybe I should have just put this up in the beginning instead of getting you, the reader to read through this long post.